When You Don’t Feel Loved


Image courtesy of FrameAngel/freedigitalphotos.net

When you have been abused, there has been a real lack of love in your life.

I used to feel like everyone else was loved, and I was the only one who was suffering through difficult things. I felt lonely and afraid, but mostly, I felt unloved.

I walked through life with people that should have loved me, instead attacking, accusing, lying about me and hurting me. I didn’t know what the word love meant.

I felt the most confused when someone who had just caused me great pain would say to me, “I love you.”

As I started the healing process, this is something I grappled with. How could they say they loved me after they hurt me, after they did awful things to me and even laughed at my pain, gleeful at the power they held?

How was that love?

My whole definition of love was skewed.

I went looking for love as a young lady, and found only more abuse. I felt I was undeserving of love, that there must be something wrong with me, and maybe I just wasn’t lovable.

It was only God who could step in and stop these lies in my life.

It was and is still quite a journey, learning about the love of my heavenly Father. I have learned that even though I was not loved by people, God loves me. God chose me to be his own daughter, and God wants me to know what true love is.

He began to show me pictures of what a loving Father looks like. He gave me examples in good people I met along the way. He brought me through a process of healing, and showing me, what love really means.

So many of us have been abused and have a skewed definition of love.

On our own, we cannot fix it. But there is someone who can.

Your heavenly Father wants to take you on a journey to reveal to you what love really is.

There a few things you can put into practice that will help you grow in God’s love for you.

Write it Down

I encourage you to find a scripture on the love of God and write it down on a piece of paper or 3×5 card.

One you might use is John 15:9: As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. KJV

Repeat Aloud

Look at the scripture, and then close your eyes, thinking on God’s love. Repeat this scripture to yourself out loud a few times, and declare the love of God is coming into your life.


Every day, take a few moments and review this scripture, taking a deep breath and breathing in the love of your heavenly Father. And every day, ask your Papa God to show you the truth regarding His love for you.

When you meditate on the love of God, and ask Him to show you how much He truly loves you, He will answer. He hears your prayers, and He sees what you have been through. You are His precious child, and He has a plan for your restoration.


The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.

Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV 



In His Love,



© Carolyn Rice 2018