I had never been more aware of my brokenness. I sat among people who had experiened Jesus doing wonderful things in their lives. They wanted to bring the gospel to others, and share what Jesus had done in them. All I wanted was for Jesus to heal me.
I felt so alone my first few months of Bible College. I became painfully aware that I was not like a lot of the others, and I wondered why Jesus had led me there at all.
I began to compare myself with others, and I started to strive. I thought if I just read my Bible enough, I could be like them. So I read and read for hours a day, until my eyes hurt.
Then I thought, if I could just memorize enough scripture, I would be healed. I memorized two and three scriptures a day. I ended up exhausted, unable to even pay attention in my classes.
Through this time of striving, I learned that it’s not my works that bring healing or wholeness; it’s the presence of God in our lives. Coming before Him, sitting at His feet, and pouring out my heart to Him is where the healing truly began.
I learned that God doesn’t want us to exhaust ourselves trying to be healed, but to sit at His feet and receive from Him, letting Him do the work in us. There are some practical things we can do to stay connected to Him, and it doesn’t include exhausting ourselves.
Staying close to the Lord ~ This does not mean you have to pray all day long or for hours on end. Set aside some time to spend with the Lord in worship and in prayer. I set aside twenty to thirty minutes a day to worship the Lord and it changed my life. This is where I poured out my heart to him and received His comfort.
Time in the word~ it’s better to be like the tortoise rather than the hare. Slowly read through the word. Let the Lord speak to you through it. Try 15 minutes and see what the Lord does!
Walk According to His Leading: When you’ve been in prayer and the word, after a while, God’s leading and guidance starts to come naturally. When you don’t know what to do you can always ask. James 1:5 states that if we need wisdom, we must only ask for it.
Not by our own efforts, but by sitting at the feet of Jesus, is where healing truly came for me. He took my pain, and comforted me. He led me to a ministry that was able to help me. I don’t believe you are reading this today by accident. I believe that there is hope for you. You don’t have to stay broken inside. Come before Jesus today, Sit at his feet, and tell Him of your longing to be healed.
Pray with me.
Lord Jesus, I invite you into my life right now. I ask that you would create in me a clean heart. If there is any offensive way in me I pray that you would root it out. Lord, I also invite you in to my brokenness, and I ask that you help me not to strive in my own efforts, but that I would set myself at your feet, receive from you and allow you to do the work in me. Show me how to do this, Lord. Lead me and guide me. I love you Lord, and I thank you in advance for what you are about to do.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds ~ NIV